Letting go
by Lacey99
Summary: Harm and Mac faces some difficulties...


Mac had just finished the last of the chores. After putting both her kids to bed, she had to pick up toys, make sure they had clean clothes for the next day, and then she had cleaned up the kitchen. It was past 2100, and she still had to prepare the closing argument for the court martial she was prosecuting before she could go to sleep.

Just as she had finished loading the dishwasher, she heard the front door open and shut, feet stamping on the floor, steps towards the living room. Harm was home.

She washed her hands and dried off before she walked out of the kitchen. "You're home."

"Hi," he smiled and walked over to her. "I missed you," then he leaned in and kissed her.

Mac cut the kiss short and stepped away from him. "I have a closing argument to prepare."

He was confused. "Not exactly the welcoming home I'd expected."

"Well, excuse me, but I've had a long day, and it's not finished yet. I'm tired, and I just want to finish with work, so that I can get a good nights sleep," she moved towards the hallway. "There's leftovers in the fridge."

Harm watched her go, and shook his head in confusion. He'd been away for two days, to finish his Carrier Qualifications, and he'd expected a warmer welcome than 'there's leftovers in the fridge'.

He walked upstairs, took a quick shower and put on some old sweatpants. He looked in on his sleeping children. Four year old Andrew had kicked his sheet on the floor, so Harm picked it up and put it over his son, before he kissed his head.

Next he looked in on one year old Adeline, who was sleeping peacefully. He bent down and kissed her head, before he quietly walked out of her room. Adeline wasn't, unlike her brother, a sound sleeper, so they had to be quiet in and around her room or she'd wake up.

After heating up dinner, and eating he walked to their home office. He leaned towards the door frame and studied his wife. She looked tired, and very concentrated.

"Are you coming to bed?"

"In a while," she replied without lifting her head to look at him.

"Are you mad at me?" he wondered, unsure of how to interpret her mood.

"Harm, not everything is about you," she kept taking notes as she spoke.

"Has something happened?" he asked carefully.

Finally she turned to him. "It's just been two very long days, it's been crazy busy, I'm very tired and I really need to finish this damn closing argument."

It dawned on him. "Is this about me leaving to do my quals?"

She focused on her work again. "Doesn't the Navy have enough pilots," she mumbled.

"You know how important flying is to me." he said calmly and stepped further into the room.

"I know," she stopped writing. "I just don't want to do this alone."

He knew that someone had told her about his almost mishap last night. "You heard about the mission."

"The Admiral told me this morning."

"It was just a damaged wing, I made it home," he moved a few books out of the way and sat on her desk. "There wasn't any real danger."

She looked at him. "Do you want you kids to grow up without a father?"

"No, of course not. Mac, you're overreacting," he watched as her eyes darkened.

She turned back to her work. "I'm going to finish this."

"I can help," he offered.

"No thanks, I've got this."

"Mac..."

"Just go away."

He stood and walked towards the door, but changed his mind and turned back to her. "You know what, I'm not going to just leave it like this. We've been married for five years, and not once have we gone to bed angry. I'm not about to start now."

Surprised by his outburst, she turned. "You can't fix this, Harm."

"Do you want me to give up my wings?" he questioned.

She hesitated. "No, I don't."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to want to give up your wings. For me, for the kids, for us," she wiped away a fallen tear. "That's what I want. You've done great work at the Pentagon, you'll be promoted this year, most likely you'll get your own command. You have two beautiful kids. Why can't you be happy with that? Why do you need to keep flying? I just don't get it," she turned back to her work. "I'll finish this now."

Harm didn't know what to say, so he just walked out of the room. It would be the first time in their marriage that they went to bed without talking through their issues.

By 0135 Mac had finished her closing argument, and she'd calmed down. She put her work away and left the office. As she entered the living room, she noticed that the TV was on and her husband was sitting on the couch.

He turned when he heard her steps behind him. "Have you finished?"

"Yeah," she looked at him with confusion. "What are you doing up?"

"I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep because you were mad at me, and then I got up and decided to watch TV until you had finished with your work, so that we could talk."

She offered an amused smile. "You couldn't sleep because I was mad at you?"

"We promised to never go to bed angry," he reasoned.

She went to sit down beside him. "I'm sorry about earlier, I was overreacting, and I was overemotional."

"No, you were right," he leaned back on the couch. "I should give up my wings."

"It should be your decision," she shrugged. "I was just overreacting. The Admiral assured me that the mission was a success, and that you weren't' hurt, but I focused on what could have happened and I shouldn't have."

"Why did you react the way you did?" he questioned, knowing that something must have happened for her to act like she had.

She smiled and reached for his hand. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" he stared at her. "You're pregnant?"

"I found out yesterday," she put her free hand on her stomach. "I know we didn't plan it, but we always talked about having three..."

He kissed her deeply. "I love you," he laughed out loud. "This is great news."

"So you're happy about this then?" she questioned with a smile.

"Yes, very. Aren't you?"

"Of course, but another kid means the question of whether we're going to stay in the service or look at civilian careers has to be revisited. Financially we're okay, but time-wise we're barely able to keep our heads above the water."

"Yeah, we don't want to be the parent's who doesn't have time for our kids," he agreed.

"Or time for us," she added.

He nodded. "That's very important too."

"There's a lot to think about," she put her arms around his neck. "But for now, let's just be happy."

"I am happy," he kissed the top of her head. "And we'll figure out what to do. As you said, I'm up for promotion, then in nine months I can retire with full benefits. You have to stay in for two more years to qualify for full benefits, but in the meantime we'll manage."

"Do you think about this stuff," she looked at him with surprise.

"Sure I do. I don't want to stay in the service forever. I thought we could retire, buy a house somewhere far away from the city, and just concentrate on us and the children," he smiled. "We'll need a dog of course, and maybe a horse or two. We'll go camping every weekend, and when the kids grow older I'll take them up in Sarah."

"Wow, you've thought this through," she was surprised.

"I think about our future all the time," he admitted.

"I didn't know that," she leaned in and kissed him. "It's sexy."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah," she took his hand and stood. "Let me show you how much I've missed you."

"I missed you more," he wrapped his arms around her from behind as they walked upstairs.

"That's not possible."

The End


End file.
